


Family Always Gets To Come Home

by CaseyBarson12



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Flirting, Barsonoah, Bisexual Rafael Barba, Canon Compliant, Catholic Character, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode s21e13 Redemption in Her Corner, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mutual Pining, POV Rafael Barba, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Child Abuse, Pining Rafael Barba, Professor Rafael Barba, Rafael Barba & Olivia Benson Friendship, Slow Burn, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22609432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaseyBarson12/pseuds/CaseyBarson12
Summary: Two years. That’s how long it had been since Rafael left everything behind, walking away from his life in New York.He’d said he’d needed to move on, but somehow all paths lead back to the one person he can’t possibly move on from.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 57
Kudos: 134





	1. Redemption in His Corner

"You grew a beard!"

Rafael laughed earnestly at the simple fact that _that_ was his best friend's first thought when they saw each other for the first time in much too long. And it wasn't even in person. Life had gotten too hectic, both busy working, but they were finally managing to steal a few moments on Skype together for themselves.

Despite everything that was going on in her life, there was a bubbliness to Olivia Benson that seemed to warm up his stale, cold, hotel room, instantly causing a feeling to flood his chest, immediately overwhelming him. A feeling that could only be described in one simple word: _Home_.

He scratched a tad at the thick dark hairs he now had on his chin, and looked at her, smiling. "I'm in Iowa," he quipped. "I'm trying to blend in."

Olivia let out a soft chuckle at that. "Oh, good luck!" She shook her head and leaned forward slightly. "Why are you there?"

There was so much to unpack in that one question. The real question he knew she was asking: _'Why did you leave?'_ He'd felt he'd had no choice. Still, he smiled, looked around briefly and then sighed. "Election fraud." And most certainly a giant mess. Still, he enjoyed his job with the DNC. It was rewarding in a way he couldn't really explain, and he was genuinely happy now. "We're living in a dystopian nightmare..." Another sigh. "Enough about me...". He raised his hand and waved it slightly before giving her a look of concern. "How are you?" She gave a sad little hum before lightly biting at her knuckle, her eyes watering slightly. It physically hurt to see her so upset, even if he hadn't been Ed Tucker's biggest fan. "I heard about Tucker."

The man had apparently had brain cancer for quite some time.

Instead of letting the disease take its course, he'd taken his own life with his old .38.

Surprisingly, he'd been married and had step-children. Recently eloped, in fact. He left his wife a letter, his benefits, and his pension. He told her that he didn't want her to spend the best years of her life Taking care of a dying man.

He'd also said, what was in hindsight, a final goodbye to Olivia.

Fin had sent Rafael a text when the man had seen how heartbroken Olivia was.

Now, the aforementioned woman looked perilously close to tears, but Olivia forced a sad smile on her face. "You know, it's been rough... a lot of loss recently." He nodded, letting her speak, emotions clearly getting to her. "Time is just..." The emotions took over and she paused a moment, more than a little teary-eyed. "- flying by..."

He wracked his brain for something to say. He wasn't sure how to help. First her brother, although they weren't close, then Tucker. "Everyday," was what ended up rolling off his tongue.

Olivia nodded and ran her hands down her face, clearly attempting to regain some of her composure.

He rose his hand again, this time thumping it against the desk that he was sitting at. "I'm back after the primary... Dinner? On me?"

He was relieved to see some of her earlier happiness return. "I'd like that."

He could tell she was going to cut the call short, this only being a quick chat before she went home to Noah, but he didn't want the call to end yet. He leaned closer to the camera slightly. "Oh, oh oh! Before I go!" When he was sure he had her attention he spoke softly. "Happy birthday."

Grinning fully now, she chuckled; music to his ears. "You're early."

Rafael again shook his head contentedly as he crinkled his nose, a wide toothy grin on his face. "I wanted to be the first."

Olivia smiled and wordlessly put her hand over her heart, in a gesture that spoke more than words could say.

Smiling back, he returned the gesture. "Regards to the squad... and Noah."

As the call ended, he couldn't ignore the strange sense of homesickness that started to settle in the pit of his stomach.

That had been two months ago. He’d just landed back in the city two hectic days prior, and now found himself walking through the doors of the 1-6 for the first time in two long, eventful, years.

He ignored most of the looks and mumbling as he made his way through the building to the SVU squad-room. He'd become more than a little infamous during his trial, being labelled the 'Baby Killer ADA.' Everyone knew what he did. Still, he'd managed to make peace with what he'd done. Mostly.

The room was pretty quiet as the detectives were absorbed in the reports that they were working on. He could see Carisi chatting with Olivia in her office. Within seconds, all their eyes all shot upwards, glancing at him.

"So, you're the dinner date," Fin said after the momentary surprise passed at seeing Rafael standing there after almost two years.

"How long are you in town for?" Rollins inquired the second her sergeant finished his comment. "I hear you've been tilting at windmills."

He hummed. "Let's just say I don't miss Iowa." That was an understatement.

She nodded. Neither of them were completely sure about what to say to him after so long.

Someone who he assumed was Officer Tamin stepped forward, offering her hand. "Kat Tamin."

He shook her hand. "Rafael Barba."

"Our old ADA," Fin explained. "so, how long _are_ you in town for?"

He sighed. "No concrete plans. Yet."

He was saved from hearing whatever the man's reply was by Olivia and Carisi walking over to where the three of them were.

Olivia immediately pulled him into a hug. ”Rafa, it’s good to see you.”

”It’s good to see you too,” he replied, pulling out of the hug. ”It’s been too long.”

”It really has,” she readily agreed, giving him a warm smile. 

"Barba," Carisi said, giving him a hesitant smile. "It's good to see you, man.”

He tilted his head in a half-nod. "And you as well, _Counsellor_." He put a deliberate emphasis on the younger man's new title as he said it. "Congratulations."

The blond detective-turned-prosecutor smiled more warmly now at the praise. "Thanks. How was Iowa?"

"Corny," he deadpanned, not missing a beat, causing mixed eye rolls and groans from everyone there in the room.

Olivia just shook her head and waved her purse lightly. "You ready to go, Rafa? I do believe I was promised good food and wine."

He chuckled softly. "Sorry. Who am I to keep the lady waiting?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why do I love you?" She looked at everyone else. "Go home for the night. The rest of _this_ -" She gestured at the files. "- can wait until tomorrow."

Fin immediately stood up, smiling. "You don't need to tell me twice. But, Barba, man, don't be a stranger."

"Agreed," Rollins said. "Carisi here practiced your summations in the mirror. You're family. Even if you are more like the completely obnoxious brother."

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Rollins."

"She's right," Carisi said, "don't be a stranger. We were actually planning to grab drinks this weekend if you wanted to join us?"

Rafael shook his head but couldn't help but smile at the familiarity. _Some things never change_. "I wouldn't miss it." As he started following Olivia out the door, he turned around briefly. "Have a good night, guys."

"Ya'll enjoy yourselves!" Rollins added with a smile.

Olivia beamed back at the group, before leading him out the door towards where the car was parked. "See you guys tomorrow."

As he and Olivia chatted on the way to the restaurant and fell into their easy banter that earlier feeling washed over him again. He'd missed this more than he'd even realized.


	2. Hudson Yards

The drive to Hudson Yards and El Mercado wasn't too long and they walked around, chatting for a bit about how she and Noah were doing, the fact that he was only back in town for a couple days before he had to go to Kansas for their primary, while they figured out where they wanted to grab a bite to eat.

He'd only be gone for a two weeks though, if everything went well, and would be back after the Oregon primary.

Eventually, they decided on going to Leña. The restaurant was intimate yet casual; a brightly lit space with black tables, red chairs, and checkered flooring.

They sat in one of the far corner booths and ordered their food and drink. He'd gone for the _Chuletillas de Cordero_ and Olivia, the _Hanger Steak con Salsa Valdeón._ A glass of wine for them both as well.

As the waitress left, he glanced up at her, smiling. "I've oddly missed the city."

"So, what exactly happened in Iowa?" she inquired, taking a sip of her drink.

He gave a little snort. "Where do I begin?" He look at her pointedly. "A three day delay in votes being reported after the caucus." He made a vague gesture with his right hand. "Not to mention, errors and inconsistencies regarding the calculation and reporting of SDEs. We had a recanvass ordered and everything."

"Sounds riveting," she quipped.

He chuckled. "You have no idea. I genuinely enjoy the job, though, but, thankfully, the New York Primary was a lot less eventful."

She took a sip of her drink, and looked at him, a warm smile on her face. "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy. I watched you burning out for quite a while before you left. I just wish I could've helped more."

Now it was his turn to give a sad little hum.

He didn't get to hear what her reply was as they were interupted by the arrival of their food; the dishes looking and smelling incredible.

She pointed to her plate. "This looks really good." She took a bite and gave a happy little hum, smiling fully.

He gave her a little snort. "Have I ever steered you wrong?"

She chuckled. "No. I can always trust Rafael Antonio Barba to know good food."

He smirked. "And don't you forget it." With that, he took a bite of his own plate, laughing when Olivia used her fork to steal some of his as well.

"¡Ayyyy, Mami!” he exclaimed, laughing as he spoke. "That was mine!"

She hummed happily. "Well, thank you for sharing."

He just shook his head, amused by her antics.

She gave him a sideways look, an amused glint still in her eyes. "So, world traveller, what are your plans for the weekend?"

He rolled his eyes. “Sunday I said I'd go to mass with mami. It would be Abuelita's birthday tomorrow and my mother wants me to join her." He wasn't a 'church every Sunday’ Catholic, but had grown up in the church and still went occasionally, rarely if ever missing a holiday.

"How’s your mother doing?"

He shrugged. “She’s fine. Work and everything’s going well. She’s keeping busy.” He gave her a lopsided smile. "You have any big plans?"

"More than a few errands for Noah," she informed him. "He has a birthday party for a friend from El Taller Latino Americano."

He out his drink down and raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"He's taking weekly Spanish classes along with the dance ones I told you about," she explained easily, the pride she felt written all over her face. "Quería hablar el idioma de su tio favorito." (He wanted to speak his favourite uncle's language.)

That hit Rafael harder than he'd like to admit. "I've missed the ankle biter."

She squeezed his hand. "He's missed you too, Rafa. So have I."

He gave her a hesitant look. "I had to leave, Liv."

She gave him a sad smile. "I know. Believe me, I get being hit with too much rain at once. He would love to see you, you know." She gave him a pointed look. "Join us for Spaghetti night?"

He crinkled his nose happily. "I'd love that."

The rest of the evening was more than pleasant, he'd really missed his best friend, and Rafael still had a wide grin on his face when he stepped out of the Uber on Gerard and walked up to the front steps leading into his childhood home.

"Rafi, ¿eres tú?" he could instantly hear his mother calling from kitchen. It sounded like she was pouring herself a drink. (Rafi, is that you?)

"¡Sí!" he called back, taking his shoes off before he made his way over to the couch to take a seat, a definite bounce in his step. "Soy yo." (Yes! It's me.)

She walked into the living room. "¿Cómo estuvo tu noche?" (How was your night?)

"Fantástica, mami." The massive grin from earlier was still firmly plastered on his face. "¿Y la tuya?" (Great, Mami, and yours?)

She quirked an eyebrow. "Puedo ver eso, mijo." (I can see that, mijo.)

He gave her a sideways look before matching his mother's expression. "¿Y qué quieres decir con eso, mami?" (And what is that supposed to mean, mami?)

"Nada," she said teasingly, taking a sip of her coffee. "Solo digo que estás de muy buen humor esta noche." (Nothing. I'm just saying that you're in a particularly good mood this evening.)

He rolled his eyes, but there was no malice in it at all. He loved his mother and was more than used to the antics by now. "No empieces." (Don't start.)

She just looked at him indulgently, not remotely put off by his antics. "Bueno, cuéntame sobre tu noche." (So, tell me about your night.)

And so mother and son talked about him seeing best friend for the first time in a long time and how the evening played out. The joking and how easy it had been to fall into their easy banter. How much he'd missed her. He gave her a little update on Noah as well who she'd heard a fair amount about over the years.

Her mouth twitched, and he was pretty sure his normally stoic, yet somehow more than a little dramatic, mother was fighting a smile. There was a spark of something else in her eyes as well.

"¿Qué?" he inquired. (What?)

She gave him a knowing look, the smile forming fully on her face now as she looked over at him. "Papito, hazme un favor." (Papito, do me a favour.)

He raised an eyebrow at that comment but quickly replaced it with a look of fond indulgence. "¿Qué, mami?" (What, mami?)

She patted his shoulder. "Dile a Olivia cómo te sientes." (Tell Olivia how you feel.)

He shook his head. "No he tenido suficiente café para esta conversación." (I haven't had enough coffee for this conversation.)

He was bisexual, and she only had a begrudging acceptance of it. So she was clearly thrilled he actually had feelings for a woman. Which, he _did_.

He couldn't pinpoint how or when but somehow she'd weaselled her way into his world and he'd irrevocably fallen for her.

He was terrified of saying the words however, the three words that he had meant to and wanted to say to her when he walked away that February day. What if she didn't feel the same way?

"Solo considéralo." (Just think about it.)


	3. Oral Advocacy

The next three days seemed to fly by. He grabbed coffee with Eddie, went out for lunch with Rita Calhoun, and helped his mother with a few smaller things around the house that needed fixing.

His highlight had definitely been going over to the Bensons, however, and getting to spend time with both Olivia and Noah. He hadn't been used to kids when he first met Noah, but the seven-year-old had really grown on him.

It was much too soon, however when Rafael had to get on that plane again, saying goodbye to everyone, and head to Kansas for his work.

Thankfully, they hadn't had another disaster like the one in Iowa, and he'd only been gone for the intended two weeks, leaving him free for a week in New York before he was scheduled to go to Washington, D.C. His last assignment before he would, with any luck, be moving back to the city permanently.

He definitely enjoyed many things about his job, but he had started considering his options as of late. He wanted something that would keep him in the city more instead of travelling constantly.

Still, he'd miss the new friends he'd made. A lot of his coworkers were great people, and he'd miss working with them. They'd done a lot to help him find his footing again when he'd been quite shaken by everything that had happened with the Householders and the Manhattan D.A's Office.

The two Barbas woke up the Wednesday morning the week following the Washington primary. He's just gotten back into the city the night before. He got dressed, and the pair sat down for breakfast together; pan con mantequilla y café con leche.

"¿Cuales son tus planes para hoy?" his mother asked, taking a sip of her coffee. (What are your plans for the day?)

"Una entrevista de trabajo," he murmured, taking a sip of his own. (A job interview.)

"¿Oh?" she questioned. "¿Dónde?" (Oh? Where?)

"Fordham University School of Law."

"Bueno, espero que vaya bien," she said, a small smile playing on her face as she looked at him. "Sé que quieres mudarte a casa." (Well, I hope it goes well. I know you're wanting to move home.)

It wasn't much later when his mother was off for work, leaving Rafael to pull out a book and read for awhile before going to his interview. He hadn't told his mother about the other two interviews that had fallen through.

The president of the university greeted him rather warmly and after a few moments of light conversation he found himself, as expected, being bombarded with questions: _Why do you want to work here? What makes you different from the other candidates? What courses could you offer to teach? What experience do you believe will help you to be an effective instructor? How would you handle a conflict situation in your classroom? What advice would you give a student who is struggling with your curriculum delivery? Do you have any plans for research? How would you contribute to the administration of the department?_

Thankfully, the interview had gone reasonably well in his estimation, and when Rafael left the campus he felt rather good about his prospects. Mr. McShane liked him well enough, Rafael having been a guest lecturer in the past, and had said that they'd be in touch with him in short order.

Shaking his head, trying not to get his hopes up, he grabbed his key for his mother's front door, throwing his stuff off to the side and making himself a quick lunch and watching some television.

It was a month, and two more failed job interviews later, when he finally got a call back from the school. He'd gotten roped into a dinner for Carisi's 40th birthday. The squad insisted on doing something that Friday, unsurprisingly.

It was pleasant so far. The kids were mostly entertaining themselves, although they hung out with the adults as well, and it was nice to actually sit and chat with everyone over food and drink and pick Carisi's brain on adjusting to the D.A's Office and how his first couple trials had gone.

Rollins having a second child had been a bit of a surprise to him, but Billie was rather cute and he didn't feel quite as awkward after having some practice with Noah.

They were currently sitting around playing a couple of rounds of ' _For It or Against It',_ but his attention was pulled away from the game by a vibrating in his pocket.

Curious, he didn't hesitate to pull out his phone, and he knew the slight surprise he felt at reading the call display was playing on his face. "Sorry," he said, "I have to take this. It shouldn't take long."

Carisi waved his concern off. "I get it, believe me."

Giving the man a grateful smile for the understanding, he pressed the green phone on his screen, walking away to have some more privacy during the, likely rather brief, conversation. "Hello. Rafael Barba speaking."

They talked for a moment and he couldn't help the smile he had when he heard that he got the job. "You had a great interview and we are pleased to be able to offer you a position at our institution."

They discussed a few aspects of the Fordham job offer and he managed to negotiate some of the smaller details but didn't want to push his luck. He was fairly content with the offer, so he had little qualms about accepting it.

It was a full-time, tenure-track, position with full benefits. He'd be teaching first-year _Criminal Law_ , _Written and Oral Advocacy,_ and _Constitutional Law_ classes _._ Now he just had to wait to have the actual work contract physically in his hands in a few days' time.

The pleased smile was still on his face when he walked back into the living room.

Olivia eyed him. "So, what's got you in a good mood?"

"A job offer," he said easily. "It should be finalized in the next few days if everything goes according to plan."

"Oh?" Olivia inquired. "Where at?"

"Is it in New York?" Carisi inquired.

"You're not running off on us again are you?" Rollins questioned.

Fin gave him a look. "You better not be, man."

He gestured to the blond prosecutor. "It's actually at your alma mater, Carisi. Teaching three first-year core law classes."

"You're staying in the city?" Olivia said, her face instantly lighting up.

He crinkled his nose happily. "I am."

His smile got even wider if that was possible when Noah started bouncing around excitedly at the prospect that his 'uncle' wasn't going away again, Jesse joining in with Noah's rather contagious excitement.

They all played another round of their little game before Olivia and Rafael stole a moment to themselves in the kitchen when grabbing refills.

She was playing with her hair lightly, looking at him. "I'm glad you're staying."

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I am too, Liv."

"What made you decide to leave the DNC?"

"New York's home," he said. He gave her a cheeky look. "I missed it. And, it turns out, you can only stare at corn fields for so long before you start to go insane." _I missed you._

She gave him a look of amusement. "Yeah, when you said you were in Iowa, I had to laugh. The prim and proper Rafael Barba dealing with farmers."

His eyes were shimmering with mirth. "Hence the lumberjack beard."

She chuckled softly, stepping closure to him, eyes roaming over him for a moment before she spoke. "Well, that beard was something else, but I think I prefer this salt and pepper look you've got going on. It makes you look _distinguished_."

He swallowed, tensing slightly at the closeness. "I'm glad you approve."

If she noticed his slight nervousness, she didn't mention it. She just kept looking at him, the smile never wavering. "Much."

She reached out, but Rafael caught her hand in his just before she touched him, surprising himself. When he looked into her eyes once again, his heart fluttered at the hard, blazing look she wore

And without thinking, without planning it, without worrying about all the implications for their friendship, he yanked her closer to him and covered her mouth with his in a hungry kiss.

She seemed slightly surprised by his bold move, but a second later she pulled him tightly to her, his hand tangling itself in her hair.

He tasted tentatively with his tongue, and Olivia opened her mouth with a low moan.

The kiss seemed to stretch on until all the world fell away, and there was only the two of them left. She sighed against his lips contentedly. Breaking apart, the two friends looked at each other tentatively.

"How long?" she questioned.

A sheepish grin was now on his lips. "A while. It's actually what I was trying to say outside of the courthouse that day. I'm sorry if..."

She eyed him. "Rafa -"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and kiss me."


	4. Morning

The next several weeks seemed to fly by, and, before he knew it, the contract signed, Rafael was starting his new job.

His first day was largely spent just filling out more paperwork, bank deposit forms, health insurance, and getting faculty accounts on university systems. Nothing too exciting, but all very necessary.

He then quickly found himself thrown into the world of preparing their course syllabus, writing his lectures and reviewing the reading material he'd assigned his classes.

He then had several administrative meetings for his department, everyone setting schedules and administrative tasks for the coming semester. Then there was the time he was putting in to get to know his colleagues, some of whom he'd crossed paths with over the years, others, not so much.

Rafael was definitely being kept busy, but years of practice at the D.A's Office meant Rafael was nothing if not skilled at time management and organization. You learned that quickly in that line of work or you would find yourself drowning very, very, quickly. He was exceedingly grateful for that as he was able to get most of what he needed to done and scrape together some free time for himself. And he split that little time between his mother, Eddie, and the Bensons, although the Bensons certainly got a larger share. Unashamedly so.

He was glad that he and Eddie had finally put the entire mess behind them though, something Rafael never thought was going to happen, given how _católico_ he knew Eddie was, and how the man no doubt felt about what Rafael had done.

Still, Eddie just told Rafael that he had been there for Eddie when Eddie messed up, and that he was sorry he hadn’t done the same for Rafael. That it had taken time to wrap his mind around things.

On this particular weekend, however, the Benson family had Rafael all too themselves, opting to spend the entire weekend together.

Saturday morning, Olivia luckily managing to not get called into work. Thankfully. Rafael thought she really needed the extra sleep after being up so damn late the night before due to a close job for a domestic that she and Tamin did.

Waking up before her, he snuck out of bed, threw on his pants, and quietly made his way out of the room. He could hear Noah playing quietly with some toys in his room, and popped his head in for a minute. "Morning, Amiguito."

"Mornin', Uncle Rafa," Noah said, getting up to give the man a hug. "You had another sleepover with Mama again?"

A little taken back by the bluntness, he schooled his expression, giving the boy a small smile. "Yes. Is that okay with you?"

Noah nodded. "I'm hungry."

He chuckled. "You are, are you?"

The boy nodded. "Uh-huh."

"How about you get dressed and after a have a coffee I'll make breakfast?" Rafael offered. He definitely needed that coffee.

"Can I have bacon?" Noah inquired a little too enthusiastically. "Por favor."

He ruffled Noah's hair slightly but was still feeling a bit groggy. "Bringing out the Español, I see."

"Sí," Noah said proudly, looking up at him. "I'm learning lots and lots. Like my colours and numbers and -"

The boy was now definitely rambling, but Rafael found it endearing more than anything else. "I can see that," Rafael said, making sure that the fact that he was impressed showed on his face and in his tone.

"Can I help you with breakfast?" Noah asked. "And can you help me practice? I want you to teach me!"

He gave the boy a look of fond indulgence, getting down to his level. "You have to get dressed first, but I'd love your help." He ruffled the boy's hair. "And I'd love to teach you. Sera un placer." (It would be my pleasure.)

Noah gave him a big grin. "YAY!"

He chuckled. "We still have to be a bit quiet for Mama, ok?"

"Ok."

With that, he left Noah to his own devices and went to make himself a pot of coffee, laughing when he realized that Olivia had apparently bought him a thing of Bustelo for when he was at her place.

He had just finished his first cup of coffee when Noah came running out, and the pair started on breakfast. They made bacon and homemade pancakes for breakfast, while Rafael through the steps with Noah in both English and Spanish, teaching Noah some of the vocabulary for the ingredients and things they were doing.

Noah was a quick study and picked up the words Rafael was teaching him fairly quickly, although he was still struggling a bit with rolling his 'r's.

Rafael then quickly cleaned up the kitchen while Olivia, who had woken up, quickly had a shower. Satisfied with the state of the kitchen, he set three filled plates on the kitchen table room, along with a cup of coffee for the two adults and a glass of apple juice for the rambunctious seven-year-old.

The three of them then sat, chatting intermittently, between bites of food and deciding what they were going to do that day.

"It's nice out," Olivia said, "so, Central Park? The Bronx Zoo maybe?"

He really did have to agree with that. It was beautiful out, and the last thing he wanted was to be cooped up inside all day. Noah really needed to do some running around as well or the kid would be climbing the walls and drive them mad long before dinner time came around. He was a good kid but was definitely high energy.

"The zoo!" Noah exclaimed.

Rafael gave a little snort at the seven-year-old's silly antics. "Well, Liv, mi amigo here's clearly got a preference."

"He's opinionated," she agreed, voice laced with clear amusement and a twinkle of joy shining in her eyes as she looked between Rafael and her son, "not unlike _some_ people I know." She gave Rafael a pointed look at that.

A lopsided smile formed on his lips. "True." He glanced between the pair seated across from him; two of his favourite people. "I'm good with the zoo if you are."

She chuckled softly. "Then the zoo it is."

"Can we see the lions first?" Noah said excitedly. "Or the lemurs? Or the -"

"Wow, hold on there, buddy!" Olivia said, laughing. "We'll leave soon and spend most of the day there. We'll get to see them, I promise."

"I'll clean up these," Rafael said, "and we'll head out." He eyed Noah, mirth shining clear as day in his eyes. "Go get your shoes on, you little rascal."

Noah just laughed as he got up and ran to the entranceway to grab his running shoes.

He eyed Olivia, scrunching his nose happily. "That kid is something else."

She nodded, a warm smile on her lips. "He really is, Rafa. And thanks for this morning, by the way. You didn't have to do all this."

He raised an eyebrow. "I wanted to."

She nodded. "I know, I just want to make sure you know I'm not looking to force you into any sort of role with Noah."

He grabbed her hand, gently squeezing it. "I know. And you should know me well enough by now to know nobody makes me do anything I don't want to."

A light chuckle left her lips. "Fair enough." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "Now let's go before the seven-year-old finds a way to drive himself."


	5. The First Day

He shook his head slightly, taking a deep breath before surveying the classroom once more. "You can do this, Rafael. You've got this." He knew it was silly to talk to himself, but he didn't care. He needed to get over the slight nervousness he was feeling.

Pulling himself together, he made sure everything was in order and forced a warm smile on his face as the students started to walk in.

The first day of teaching was definitely _interesting,_ but his classes that day went quite well, in his own estimation. He'd lectured several times in the past, had asked his mother for some advice, and was used to public speaking, so he wasn't that worried about all that, but he _was_ admittedly concerned about the students' reactions given just who he - Rafael Barba, Former New York ADA - was.

He'd still get weird looks while in town when people recognized him or rather his name, despite everything having happened ages ago. Hence the salt 'n pepper look he was still sporting. He didn't bother to wear his contacts either, so between the short beard and glasses, he looked different enough that he wasn't recognized as much right off the bat. Honestly, he was considering taking his mother's maiden name: Díaz.

Thankfully, the majority of the students didn't seem to have an issue and things had gone rather smoothly in that regard.

He'd greeted as many students as he could individually, although as there was definitely a decent-sized group of students in his classes, it was impossible to greet them all individually.

He formally introduced himself to the class, and as he spoke, discussing what they would be learning, he tried his best to convey the significance of its content to students as well as to their world beyond the classroom, giving a few personal anecdotes of his.

He'd only handled out the course syllabus after he'd been talking for some time. He wanted to spark their curiosity about the content first and then demonstrate — with a review of the syllabus — how the course content could help satisfy that curiosity.

He also made his expectations clear right off the bat, knowing if those weren't implemented now it was going to be a nightmare later on.

There'd been a few minor hiccups along the way, naturally, but all in all, things could have gone much much worse, and he knew it.

Still, he was exhausted and once he'd taught his last class for the day, he was more than glad to leave and go home for the day.

Fumbling with the keys, he opened the door and walked into his childhood home. He was looking for his own place but hadn't found one yet.

As he walked in, the smell of his mother's cooking immediately hit him. The apartment smelled phenomenal. His mother was also playing music softly in the background, as usual. He smiled. "Mami, I'm home."

"Afternoon, Raf," she said, making her way into the open living room and shooting him a small smile. "¿Quieres un cafecito?" (Do you want a coffee?)

"Sí, por favor." He eyed his mother. "How was your day?" (Yes, please.)

His mother waved the comment off. "It was fine. You know how busy things have gotten with the administration at the school."

He nodded. "Fair enough."

"I'll be right back," she said pointedly as she looked at him, "pero entonces puedes decirme cómo fue tu primer día de enseñanza." (-but then you can tell me about how your first day of teaching went.)

He rolled his eyes. "El trabajo estuvo bien, pero después de pasar el día con cientos de personas de veinticinco años, me alegro de estar en casa." (Work was fine, but after spending the day with hundreds of twenty-five-year-olds, I'm glad to be home.)

She gave him a matching eye-roll, clearly amused. "Pobrecito, intenta enseñarles a los adolescentes alguna vez." (Poor thing, try teaching teenagers sometime.)

He laughed. "Okay. Okay. You win. Tú ganas."

She smirked. "Smart man."

He shook his head, bemused, as she walked to the kitchen, coming out moments later with a coffee for both of them.

"Aqui tienes," she said as she passed him his cup. (Here you go.)

He gave her a grateful smile. "Gracias, Mami." (Thanks, Mami.)

She tilted her head slightly in acknowledgment and gave him a questioning look. "¿A qué hora vienen tu novia y su hijo esta tarde?" (What time are your girlfriend and her son coming this evening?)

He moved to take a seat on the couch. "Bueno, she sent me a text message earlier telling me that they'd be coming for half-past five."

She nodded, satisfied with the answer, taking a seat across from him as he sipped on his coffee. "Perfecto. It'll be nice to properly meet them both." (Perfect.)

He gave a little snort. His mother was obviously referring to the fact that she and Olivia had met very briefly and awkwardly some years before. Well, awkwardly for him, not so much for Olivia or his mother who were both amused more than anything.

_He was walking out of the courtroom and spotted his mother. He was honestly more than a little surprised but figured he knew why she'd come down. "Mami."_

_She gave him a pointed look. "We have to talk."_

_"Okay." He eyed her. "I'm a little busy right now."_

_She rolled her eyes. "You're always busy. You don't think this is important?"_

_He sighed. "Claro que sí. Of course, I do."_

_Just then one Olivia Benson decided to walk up to them, making a comment about his performance in court. Something that didn't particularly surprise him. "Barba... $100,000 for a homicide? Are you kidding me?"_

_"We're lucky we didn't get ROR," he pointed out. He glanced between both women and gestured to his mother. "_ _Sergeant Benson, this is my mother, Lucía Barba."_

_His mother's eyes went wide with recognition. He instantly knew she was going to say something embarrassing. "Oh. Benson... he talks about you." He wanted to run out of the room as his mother continued. You drive him a little crazy."_

_Olivia looked more amused than anything, although it was definitely mixed with something Rafael couldn't quite read. "Just doing my job."_

_"Mami..." If he sounded like he was pleading, he didn't care. He just started to walk away, hoping his mother would follow. She thankfully took the hint._

His mother was right, however. He did want them to properly meet. Now if she could lay off embarrassing him that would be something else altogether. He wasn't about to get his hopes up, however. "Can you please not scare her off?"

She chuckled, waving the comment off. "Estará bien, Mijo. Relax." (It'll be fine, Mijo.)

He shook his head slightly, shooting her an indulgent look as he spoke in a drawl. "Gee, thanks, Ma."

She just gave him an amused look, chuckling softly, and he glared at her which just caused her to laugh even harder.

He loved his mother, he really did, but sometimes she was a bit much.


	6. Let Me Off This Crazy Train

Rafael helped tidy up the place and took a quick shower so that he didn't smell like a bad mix of creolina and fabuloso when the Bensons finally arrived. He really did need to clean himself up.

He'd just finished throwing on a pair of khaki pants and a white, long-sleeve, linen shirt when he heard a knock on the door.

Walking over to the door, he let both Noah and Olivia in. He hoped his mother would behave herself.

Olivia immediately shook his mother's hand. "It's nice to properly meet you after all this time, Mrs. Barba."

"It’s nice to meet you too, Ms. Benson," his mother said, "and call me Lucía."

"Then call me Olivia," Olivia replied.

"Of course." His mother turned his attention to the young boy at that point. "And this handsome boy must be Noah?"

Noah nodded sheepishly. "Hello, Mrs. Lucía."

Noah managed to win Lucía Barba over instantly if the look on Rafael's mother's face was any sort of indication. "Well, aren't you just a little charmer." She turned back to Olivia. "Did you find the place okay?"

"Yes," Olivia assured the woman. "Thanks for asking."

"Good," his mother said happily. "Would either of you like something to drink?"

He shook his head, amused, as Noah and Olivia answered. His mother went to grab drinks and then they sat around chatting in the living room for a while before they finally sat down for dinner. His mother had gone with something rather picky-kid-friendly for dinner, as Noah tended to not be the most adventurous with food. Rafael had warned her of the fact: arroz con pollo.

Noah seemed to like it, and his mother had poured Noah a glass of Materva to go with dinner. The boy had never had it before but quickly decided that he liked the soft drink. They'd all been talking amicably for a while, plates slowly emptying, and then Noah had a question that was definitely a bit unexpected but not surprising. "Were you born here like Rafa was, Mrs. Lucía?"

"No," his mother replied. "I moved here in 1961 when I was fourteen years old. We came just before the Bay of Pigs invasion, but that's a long story."

"Things in Cuba had gotten rather bad," Olivia explained simply to her son, "so many people left Cuba. Like Rafa's family."

"Your mother's right," Rafael said. "Lots of the people who left were kids as well, through programs like Pedro Pan. Things were very difficult."

The boy nodded. "Where in Cuba are you from, Mrs. Lucía?"

"My father's family was from Santa Clara," the woman explained, giving the boy a small smile. "But he moved to Havana when he was a little kid about your age. I was born and raised in La Habana, along with most of my mother's side of the family." She paused slightly. "Havana is the capital of Cuba."

"Did you know English when you came here?" Noah inquired.

"No," his mother explained, "but I learned quite quickly." She leaned forward slightly, eyeing Noah. "So, I hear you started taking Spanish lessons?"

"Uh-huh, yo soy!" Noah said proudly, immediately showing off some of what he'd recently learned. (I am!)

Eventually, the conversation turned back around and it turned into twenty questions about how Noah liked school, why Lucía had an elephant figurine by the door of all things, what Lucía did for a living, how long Olivia had been with the NYPD and a myriad of other things.

When the conversation turned to an exchange of recipes, he was amused. Rafael raised his eyebrow as he looked at Olivia. "This coming from the Take-Out Queen herself."

Olivia slapped his arm playfully. "Hey, I am not that bad! I have gotten much better since Noah came into my life, thank you very much."

He chuckled softly. "I'll give you that, mi amor."

The Barba matriarch smiled, refiling all their glasses. "So, Mamita, just how much did you hate my son the first day that you met him?"

Rafael immediately pulled a face. "¡Mami, por favor!" (Mami, please!)

Olivia laughed. "I didn't hate him. None of us did. Amanda Rollins and I were the first to meet him, actually, and yes, Rafael Barba, I do remember the first thing you ever said to us."

Rafael groaned playfully. "Can I go eat my dinner somewhere else if this is the topic of choice?" All that was missing from his expression was the childish pout that Noah used on Olivia. It didn't help that the young boy just snickered audibly at his honorary uncle's goofy expression.

His mother patted his hand gently. "Not so fast, Rafael Antonio. I've only ever heard your side of the story -" She eyed him, still smirking. "- And, really, most men would enjoy having two of their favourite women getting along."

"¿Por qué te quiero, Mami?” With a sigh, Rafael looked at Olivia and nodded for her to continue. He was fully aware that no matter what he said or did they were always going to have this conversation. At least if he was here for it he could try and control some of it, and it wouldn't get that bad in front of Noah. (Why do I love you, Mami?)

Olivia gave him an amused look, before turning her gaze back to his mother. "So, as I was saying... I didn't hate him. Far from it, actually. I'd heard a lot about him. His reputation was well known in One Hogan Place and among us NYPD detectives."

Rafael smirked, secretly pleased that she talked about their initial meeting like that. He'd initially thought Olivia hated him as well. "True."

Olivia gave him a lopsided smile. "When I met him, I was more curious as to if he could match the words that he was so confidently throwing out at us," she explained. "My initial impression of him was that he was more than slightly arrogant, so I wanted to see if he was just a cocky ADA that couldn't live up to his words _or_ if he'd actually put his money where his mouth was." She gave him a warmer smile now, before returning her gaze to the Barba matriarch. “By the end of his first case with us, I knew that when it came to Rafael Barba, he really didn't say things that he didn't mean. And that Captain Harris was right, he definitely had ‘Big Brass Ego.' He was the best ADA we’ve ever had, in my opinion.”

His mother had a small smile on her face. "Rafi's mouth was always his most powerful and dangerous weapon. You can imagine how much trouble he would have gotten himself into growing up in the Bronx. But, thankfully he had Eddie there to protect him. That kid was something else."

Rafael froze while eating hoping that his mother wasn't going to bring up how much she'd always liked Alejandro. The reality was that she was, at first, angry at Rafael for taking the case against him and ruining Alejandro's political career.

His mother took a minute to take a bite of her food and then looked back up at Olivia. "You know, it's a real shame that you didn't get to meet my mother."

"What was her name?" Noah inquired.

"Catalina," his mother didn’t hesitate to explain. "Or Cati for short."

Rafael closed his eyes briefly as he really did miss his grandmother. She'd been his rock, and he still missed her constantly. He had no idea why his mother was bringing her up, though, so he pulled himself out of his musings to pay attention.

Olivia reached across the table and squeezed his hand gently in a comforting gesture. She knew that he had blamed himself for a long time after his grandmother passed for how things had gone. For pushing her into moving out of her apartment. Olivia looked over at his mother. "I would have loved to be able to meet her. Rafael's told me so much about her. She sounded like a truly remarkable woman."

His mother smiled at Olivia's words. "You know, the first Sunday that my son came home and told her that there was a Detective Benson that was driving him crazy at work, she just sat there, smiling at him."

He raised his eyebrow at that. "Yeah, Ma, why exactly _did_ Abuelita always smile when I discussed Olivia with her?"

Olivia raised her own eyebrow now. "Just how much did you talk about me, Rafa?"

His mother chuckled. "He talked about you a lot, Mamita. Don't get me wrong, he just considered you a colleague and a good friend at first, but he'd quickly let you in. A rare feat for my son. I was far from surprised when it became obvious that the interest in you had turned into full-on feelings." She raised an eyebrow. "Years before he figured that out himself, I might add."

He groaned again. "Yes, I was slow on the uptake, Mami. Thanks for pointing that out, not for the first time."

The Barba matriarch gave him a cheeky look. "Anytime, Mijo."

He rolled his eyes, opting not to verbally retort.

The rest of the dinner went passed smoothly, much to Rafael's delight, then Olivia had to say goodbye and take Noah home so the boy could go to bed. Rafael and his mother walked Olivia and Noah to the door and Olivia was noticeably surprised when Lucía wrapped her up in a hug and spoke softly to her. Rafael could just make out the words. "Thank you for bringing my son back to New York."

Rafael was surprised by his mother's words, if Olivia was, he didn’t find out. His mother didn't give her a chance to say anything in response as she pulled back and swiftly went to kiss Noah on the cheek. "Be good for your mother. It was really lovely to meet you, Chiquito." She eyed both Noah and Olivia. "Next time, I'll show you some baby photos of Rafael!" his mother added, laughing at Rafael's rather exasperated expression.

Rafael walked outside and closed the front door behind him. "So, you both successfully survived the hurricane that is my mother."

Olivia laughed and slapped him gently on the chest. "She is not that bad, Rafa. I really enjoyed talking to her."

"Me too," Noah said with a grin. "She's funny."

"God help me," he said with a snort. He leaned in and gave Noah a quick kiss on the head and pulled Olivia in for a kiss. "Drive safe. Love you both."

"Love you too," they both chimed, Olivia starting to walk to the car while Noah, following his mother, kept waving goodbye.

"Night, Rafa!" Noah called out.

"Good night, Amiguito!" Rafael replied without missing a beat, nose crinkling with contentment as he spoke.

How had he gotten here?

He couldn't stop smiling, though. It had been a hard last few years, and even though his mother teased, something just felt so right about him and the little family that they were slowly creating.

As the car finally went around the corner, Rafael stepped back inside, the smile never leaving his face. His mother caught his expression and was smirking. "Don't say it," he said with a laugh.

"You are so far gone," she said, the pleased grin still firmly on her face.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, I know." He gave his mother a more serious look as he continued to speak. "Para mí, es ella o nadie más." (For me, it's her or nobody else.)


	7. Guardians and Gladiators

The rest of his first week of teaching was a bit of a roller coaster, but by the end of the week he was beginning to feel more comfortable. Still, he was incredibly glad when he managed to get everything he needed done by Friday evening, meaning that he was able to actually enjoy a couple of days off.

Saturday, Rafael got up, got dressed, and, after having breakfast with his mother, he headed into Manhattan's Upper West Side to see two apartments that he was considering renting. He really didn't feel like living with his mother longer than he needed to. He loved her, but still...

The first apartment clearly had some issues, but he still considered it. However, the second one was in much better shape and was closer to his work to boot. It also was a two bedroom, which meant there was a space for Noah if Olivia and him ever spent the night there.

He talked with the apartment manager some, eventually deciding to rent the second one. They discussed a few more things regarding the apartment and what the lease would look like, then they went their separate ways, Rafael going to get what he could ready for the rental application.

He ended up going to the Benson's for dinner and spending the night. He was looking forward to spending the rest of the weekend with Olivia and Noah.

They'd opted for ordering take out and having a movie night.

"So, you found a place?" Olivia inquired as they were chatting in the living room.

"Yeah," he said, "as long as the paperwork and everything goes well, which..." He gave a non-commital shrug.

Olivia squeezed his hand. "It'll be fine."

"Are you moving away again?" Noah questioned with a small frown.

"No," Rafael quickly assured the boy, "but I do need my own place. I can't stay with my mother permanently."

"Oh," the young boy said. "That's okay then." Just then the boy's stomach growled. "When's dinner, Mama?"

"Whenever we order it," Olivia said with a slight chuckle. "What are you two boys hungry for?"

"Indian? Chinese?" Rafael suggested.

"Sweetie?" Olivia inquired, glancing at her son.

"Can we get prongs?" Noah replied after a moment.

"Sure," Olivia said. "So, Chinese it is."

Dinner was quite nice, but Rafael ended up sitting down to talk about something rsther serious that was going on once Noah was asleep.

For Olivia, the last week had been particularly interesting as she'd become a bit of a viral sensation, and not for good reason. Rafael knew she hadn't meant to harm anyone, that her bias was for the victim, but he understood that wasn't how people who didn't know Olivia perceived it. So, she found herself front and centre of the NYPD's latest political nightmare.

" _You need to leave now!" a Brunette woman, Colleen Reynolds, yelled._

_I have a right to be here," a black man, Jayvon Brown, replied. "Okay, ma'am?"_

_"Not near my child you don't," the woman retorted._

_The woman's son, Dylan, spoke up. "Mommy, let's go."_

_"Okay," Reynolds stated. "I am calling the police."_

_"Don't do that," Brown replied. "I'm not bothering you."_

_"Yes," Reynolds said not altogether quietly into her cell phone, "there is a black man threatening me and my son."_

_"There she goes, y'all!" Brown exclaimed into the camera he was using to film the interaction. "What? I am just working out!"_

_"We're Central Park," the women shot back. "In the Ramble."_

_Brown tried to justify his being there again. "I'm just -"_

_"Please hurry," the woman said._

_Brown was clearly exasperated, turning the camera onto himself again as he spoke. "This is America. 2020."_

Brown had been apparently exercising in the park when the woman started filming and screaming. He'd to all appearances filmed the interaction like a lot of people of colour lately, as a way to make sure they had some solid proof as to the nature of the interaction.

Unis had then arrived on the scene while the man continued to take a video and bystanders started to as well. Reynolds continued to act accusatory that Brown was scaring her son but Brown claimed it is only because he was black. Rafael privately agreed that it was likely. Brown had been asked for ID, he'd tried to assert his rights, and things had then gone from bad to worse when Dylan, the kid, had found a man bleeding, unconscious, pants down, and not moving. One of the officers checked it out and Reynolds accused Brown of attacking the man and Brown denied it. After that SVU had gotten involved and things had gotten even worse.

He shook his head. It was a complete mess.

Anyway, Brown had decided that he was going to file a lawsuit due to how he'd been treated, and Olivia was know dealing with the fallout from that. She'd also had a rough conversation the night before with Noah who'd asked her if she was racist, telling her she should apologize to Brown.

Rafael and Olivia both knew it was more complicated than that, but she'd actually gone to try and apologize nonetheless, agreeing that the man deserved it.

Rafael was torn as he'd experienced racism on more than one occasion, so knew how it felt. He also knew however that things from Olivia's end where a little bit more complicated. He was slightly irritated about how she'd handled the mess, but knew natural consequences were giving her enough grief at the moment.

"How did the conversation with Brown yesterday go?" he inquired.

"About what you'd expect," she said. "I can't fault him for that though. He has every right to be angry."

He nodded. "I'll agree with that."

"Rafa, I didn't sleep last night. Been going over and over and over in my head about what happened in that park, and trying to figure out what I could've done differently, and... And what I missed."

He dipped his head slightly. "And what do you think?"

"I think that I have been so focused on the victims," she said, licking her lips nervously, "that my own bias didn't even occur to me."

He was honestly glad she'd realized that. They'd fought about it on more than one occasion; the Terrence Reynolds case just being one example. "And now?"

"I don't know," she admitted after a brief moment. "How much did that bias affect my choices, affect my decisions as a cop? I'm reeling."

He gave a half-nod. "We all are. The entire city's on boil."

"I should have run her name too," she admitted. "That... that was my mistake."

He leaned over and gently squeezed her hand. "Nobody expects you to be super woman; you're allowed to make mistakes, Liv. Just... next time, try and maybe not make the same one."


End file.
